3:00am - Wah Wah Wah. Stinx is awake. I go to his room and find him standing up and wanting me to pick him up. I stand there for a moment thinking of my options. Option #1 - Lay down the air mattress and crash while he settles back to sleep in his own crib. Option #2 - Knowing we have a specialist appt in approximately 4.75 hours I could bring him into bed with Myk and I and nurse him back to sleep.
Option #2 seems good because for the past 3 weeks Stinx wakes up at 6am, nurses in bed with me and sleeps an extra 1.5-2 hours. So figuring that Stinx usually falls asleep while or after nursing, we will both get more sleep if I bring him into my bed.
Foolishly I chose Option #2.
Now part of the reason I didn't go with Option #1 is because Stinx has been STTN (Sleeping Through the Night - Had to translate for those of you who have never experienced TRUE sleep deprivation) and so when he does wake up these days, usually once every 2 weeks, it seems to take him forever to fall back to sleep. He only seems to wake up when his teeth are really bothering him. I go in and give him some Tylenol and then crash on the mattress while he falls back to sleep. Sometimes it takes him 1.5 hrs to go back to sleep. So the air mattress method which I LOVE, is more for sleep training purposes (ie. staying with him, but not having to nurse him to sleep), not quick fixes.
Quick Fixes = Nursing.
Nursing last night = WRONG OPTION.
4:00am: Stinx is tossing and turning. He seems to have a fever. He can't seem to get comfortable. He is clearly trying to fall asleep but can't. Poor guy. Myk is clearly annoyed as he has to go to work. I am clearly frustrated as we have to see the specialist in 3.75 hours. I decide to take Stinx back to his room. I plop him in the crib and he starts to protest until he sees that I am climbing in there with him (One benefit to being short).
5:00am: Stinx and I are STILL awake. It is freezing in his room. I climb out of the crib and grab the comforter I usually use with the air mattress. The blanket is nice and warm. Stinx finally seems to get comfortable.
5:30am: By this point I am pretty sure we were both asleep.
6:45am: My internal alarm clock goes off. I wake up and see the time. Urgh. Have to get up by 7am at the latest.
7:00am: I get up and have a shower. Normally I would have skipped the shower because I was going to be so late anyways HOWEVER - I HAD to have a shower. I knew I smelled awful. I know this because a) I could smell it b)I honestly can't remember the last shower I had. For all I know it could have been a week ago. I am still the same old disgusting punk kid I was 15 years ago.
7:15am: Wake up Stinx. This is the first morning in the last 18 months when I didn't nurse Joel first thing. Stinx needs breast milk the way most folks need coffee in the morning. He's addicted. And the morning is when he needs this fix the most. But I get through some tears, get him dressed and we leave the house by 7:30am.
7:50am: I am lost. We are 5 minutes late.
7:55am: Found the Specialist's office. I take Stinx in and immediately we are brought in to a room where a nice pretty nurse is going to do Stinx's EKG. Stinx is trying to flirt with the nurse. He's acting shy and cute. Then he farts. Hahahaha. Oh man it was funny. Stinx was perfect for the entire appointment. We are there because the family doctor found heart murmur.
8:30am: Pediatric Cardiologist comes in and talks to us. He listens to Stinx heart and asks me some questions. He tells me that Stinx has an innocent heart murmur. Tells me that 60% of kids get it at some point. Most outgrow it by grade one. He tells me I won't have to come back and that I don't have to worry about it. I ask if its hereditary because I had a more serious murmur until I was 12 years old. The Doc doesn't seem to give a crap about that. So, that's cool, Stinx is perfectly healthy and now i don't have to worry.
One thing the Doctor said slightly irked me. When we talked about developmental stuff he asked how many words Stinx could say. I said "5 give or take". He said "So in total 25?".... Um no! He then referred to something that happened earlier in our conversation. Stinx was standing by a table and wanting to go up. He was whimpering in his own words that he wanted to climb up. I just naturally picked him because I wanted to focus on what the doc was saying. So doc reminds me of this and is like "You responded to his grunt. You know what he is trying to say but aren't teaching him how to say it. Its good that you are in tune with him but you need to teach him how to talk. Say the word for everything. Talk slower" . Anyways, I was a little choked. I basically got the message that he thinks I don't try teaching Stinx new words, ALL the time. And honestly, of course I don't do it 100% of the time because I'd likely go mental. But of course now I am feeling like a crappy mom.
So the rest of the morning I sounded like this "Say BYE BYE Stinx. Wave BYE BYE. BYE BYE DOCTOR. Say THANK YOU DOCTOR! Ooookkkk, nowwwwww, it is time to goooooo home. DDDDOOOOO you want some BA-NA-NA? How about some M-I-L-K?"
Anyways you probably get the point. I am trying to enunciate everything. Darn it, I am hoping he'll know a few new words by the end of the day.
Despite the talking conversation, the Dr was awesome and I am super super SUPER happy that Stinx is healthy.
I'm off to google 18 month old speech.